bidelle

So hi, I realized I don't really check LJ all that much anymore-  I read but never write.

If you feel the need to actually keep up with the things I do, I update Facebook pretty frequently (every other day or so).  So add me there, I'm using my pen name Bidelle Riyushi.  (Though many of you already have, so feel free to ignore this!) 

This is the best thing I have ever seen.  Ever.

Mostly because they're my three biggest celebrity crushes. 
The only two that come close after these three are Patrick Stewart and Nathan Fillion.

...I feel like a massive dork now.  (Is there a word for reverse-cougar?  Because I'm that too.)


OH AND LEE PACE.  I think if I had to choose ONE guy out of all I've listed, I'd choose Lee Pace  (because his smile is just entrancing).  But Colbert would be close behind!

Dear LJ:

This trip was best described in the words of that damn song in Dirty Dancing.  "I'VE.... HAD.... THE TIME OF MYYYY LIIIIIFE."
Until last night. 

The entire trip I was dreading last night's events and so I was really putting my good face on and pushing through it with the best intent.
Instead, the person who I was dreading seeing ruined my night, and thus my week and in turn, most likely my month.  And made me regret the past few months as well.

How someone can act so petty is beyond me.  I'm not even insulted at what he said, but what he reacted like.


Anyway.  Lala is making me feel better as best she can.  We're cutting the trip early though, by me leaving Tuesday and her not returning to Indiana with me as planned.  I'm just going to go home and that'll be that.

I hate traveling.  I really really do.

shit yeah, wisconsin.

delicious cheese?  check.

hot wimminz?  check.

hot wimminz willing to sex me up?  ...pending.

awesome scenery?  check.

cute fuzzy animals that make me turn into some squeeling creature?  COMING SOON.


I'm having a pretty rad time.  Though my bags were gone for two or three days I GOT THEM BACK LAST NIGHT so now I can change my clothes!  YEAH, ALRIGHT, WOO, UH HUH!

I think the only downside I've had thusfar was having to do some stairways that other people were using so I couldn't hold on to both railings and take my time.  I freaked right out.  Damn irrational fears.   But lala totally held my hand so it was worth it!!! <3

Also we got greek food last night (DELICIOUS!) and walked around downtown for a bit.  Super cool.

....and then we went home and watched Purple Rain.



I DONNNTTT WANNA BE YO....  WEEEEEEEEEEKEND LOOOOOOVAAAAAAAAA!

fuck chicago
.
every trip I ever go on that has a transfer in chicago it ends up with me stuck either in chicago or the stop afterwards.


Right now I'm stuck in Milwaukee because Chicago sucks. :D


sooooo if all goes well I'll be able to actually get out of here some time tonight

WISHFUL THINKING!

going to wisconsin, bbl


lol LAND OF CHEESE

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal...
5. ...along with these instructions.
6. (I added this for more amusement) Pick a random page, point, and post the line.

This book has two pages 23s.


1a (pg XXIII) "That's when you'll discover you no longer trust the very walls you always took for granted."

1b (pg 23)  "A pretty innocuous and laconic rumination and yet it contains one particularly nettlesome word."

2) (pg 150)  "It was about to splinter its way through the Hall door, my door, Walker in Darkness, from whose face earth and heaven long ago fled."



As an aside, I'll finish my "rantings" in a bit, Aesa. XD  Sorry I've taken so long on the next parts...
Also, inc post later today about how my recent life has been. :P

So I got a wonderful comment on my main page on DA today.

Someone went and "editted" one of my pictures.

Ya know, changing hair color, eye color and all that doesn't bother me too much. They'd probably just use her in some RP and they're probably 13. I don't care.

But this guy happened to remove all her clothes and add in a few things that make it very NSFW, if you can imagine. Not only that, but the guy fucking changed her entire expression too, and its horribly done- obviously it was MSPaint and they were trying really hard.

Furthermore, he posted a link ON MY MAIN PAGE. No "NSFW" warning, nothing at all. I wouldn't say I have a lot of kid watchers, but the possibility of it just makes me sick- that some kid might have come around and clicked a link.

Ugh. It makes me furious that people think they can just change my art like that, and change it into whatever degree of perversion for their own pleasure.

Sure, I draw tons of NSFW and full on porn, but I NEVER post my bad stuff where kids (or even anyone I know irl) can see it. And for something that was lighthearted and fun to be bastardized like that; turned into something like that... it just nauseates me.

Ugh. If I wasn't using the beta account for a "portfolio" for work, I'd just shut down my whole DA account. It's brought me nothing but idiots, whiners, perverts and thieves.



...and to top it all off I got a comment on a fan art piece I did years ago thats STILL getting attention though it sucks HORRIBLY actually critiquing the damn thing and jumping on the bandwagon of "anything with lots of favorites is EVIL!". I had to respond back with much restraint, trying not to just say "you're a tool, its in a scrap gallery and you commented on ONLY THIS which shows you know nothing about my 'talent' so don't fucking knock it...oh and did I mention you're a huge tool?"


Fuck, today is just AWESOME ALREADY.

real job get?
details later.

Also lol yes it has to do with strippers!

I deeply thank everyone who has thrown music at me the past few weeks, my MSN has been flooded by new contact requests so I've set myself invis lately just so I don't feel obligated to stay up so late accepting transfers. Lol.

I must say that other than the albums of Feist I got for myself, my favorite band by far through all of it has been "Beirut". It's not any genre I can really describe... it's got a turn of the century French feel; heavy accordions, ukelele, amazing piano... etc. The singer has a beautiful voice and it's especially gorgeous when the song is in French.

I can't really say enough about the band, I love it. I don't even know who I'd suggest it to though, but I'd love to share it. So if you'd like to give it a listen, their site is here: http://www.beirutband.com/

Let me know what you think if you're brave enough to give it a listen~!

WOOOOO
okay after a million dollars
tons of scraped fingers
a bajillion components
learning more about wires than I wished to ever know
2 different motherboards
a system failure and fired (T_T) technician
more grief over a system than I care to admit
and a year of wanting

I BUILT MY NEW COMPUTER
IT WORKS
ITS HELLA HOT AND FAST
(it glows purple in the inside with a plexiglass pane so I can see it :3)

And now I've got a gigantic hard drive with all of it and I have no music or programs.

BUT I HAS A COMPUTER, OH YES I DOES.


I am so happy, you don't even know.

I got my computer working!  Kind of...


Unfortunately I couldn't save everything...  the worst of which is the fact that my external hard drive-turned-internal hard drive no longer works.

So that means I'm working with only 25GB of space.  Also, all the movies/music/art (ohgodallllmyartisgone, including commissionsFUCK) from the last 4-6 years = gone.


So if you've got a piece of art you've given me, I'd like it, just to have it....

Also if you've got music, send me what you've got!!  I don't care what you send really, as long as you think I'd enjoy it...  I'll be on MSN tonight (hopefully, given that this won't just randomly die again) so you all can send shit at me.

For those who don't know, my MSN is bidelle@gmail.com.  :P

Thanks in advance.

okay so pretty much everyone knows how I've been having problems with my computer

well the day before yesterday it died, completely, won't even turn on anymore.  Yes, I've checked everything, no, there's nothing I can do.  It's old and it's about time it was put to rest.

I'll be back around when I get a new one. :/  Hopefully that won't be too long.

My pants are dirty, my hands are tired and I'm shaking a little bit.  I'm in a great mood.  Not sarcastic.  I'm just happy. :D

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Back in highschool, I used to have a group of about 3 friends.

One of them contacted me today in order to show me pictures of her daughter.     Seems she's been married for over a year or so, though he's not the father of her daughter because her husband was in jail.  Wow.    She had the baby in November.

The second, as I remember, used to be 5'0 tall, and weighed about as much as my foot.  Judging by her pictures now, she has to weigh over 250 lbs, easily.  Her face looks exactly the same, her body just ballooned.

And the third.  She used to date one of my best friends back in the day.  That was her first boyfriend and it failed pretty harshly. (He however, has found himself incredibly happy with my little sister's best friend, which is awesome).  But anyway, after that relationship, I guess she found someone else, who she just married this winter after buying her own house a few months back and living with him for some time.  Also, she just announced that she triumphed over a thyroid disorder that was making it hard to conceive.  She's now a few weeks pregnant.

All three (with the exception of the first) are younger than I am.  Only by months, but still.
Regardless.  Here I am feeling that the pace in which I grew up might have been a bit... rushed..  but...  now I seem to be taking it too slow.

I'm not saying I want a baby (anyone who really knows me understands how laughable this is), but I do kinda want to settle down.    I want a house, a stable relationship.  Yeah, I guess I want to get married.  Too bad for me, right?

Sigh.  To be entirely honest, I think I give my heart away far too easily.  And I think there's only one of those times that I really do not regret.  I think that's the only one I could possibly ever love for real. 
I just wish I didn't feel so isolated and distant right now...

Bleh, and I've got this horrid taste in my mouth from god knows what, and it's been bothering me all day. 
Time to brush my teeth, take some more sleeping pills, and call it a night.

Heh.  4:44am.  Make a wish!

Getting ready to re-re-reinstall my OS, I was going through shit on my external just to see what I could get rid of-

LALA I FOUND OUR FIRST CONVERSATION EVER.  EPIC.

I also found pictures (art not photos) from three or four years ago.  I also found stuff from about... 6 years ago...  stuff I had on my OLD OLD OLD computer that I had transferred over the day I got this system.  Just some of my writing and whatnot...  wow.  Just wow.

Sometimes I'm glad that some websites get deleted due to inactivity.  If people could see a few of the things I've posted back when I was 13, I would die of embarrassment.  Good thing I didn't get into website creation when I first figured out how to get online.  10 years of internets!

So here's the worst:  I traced a picture of someone's art and sent it to them, asking for critiques.  AHAHAHA.

So what's a stupid thing you've done on them interwebs?

I always associate early morning sunlight (especially with heavy dew/fog) with the 80s.  I'm not sure why.  I also associate Thanksgiving with San Francisco.  Again, no idea why.


So...  you know that guild I was in, in WoW?  We got to the Black Temple and Hyjal... and I quit day after Christmas.  I realized just how stupid it is to waste so many evenings of my life on a damn game.  It hit me when I was practically threatened because I didn't want to attend a raid on the holidays, when I had friends over and was planning the week's activities now that everyone has time off.  It's ridiculous to think that someone would try to rationalize the prioritizing of a game over life.  What the hell.  And you know, months ago I would have scoffed at this, but it wasn't the raiding that was keeping me playing the game, but the people I was playing with.  And now that I hardly or do not play with nearly any of those people anymore, the game isn't enjoyable at all.  From now on, I'm giving up that silly ass raiding life and just sticking to playing with my lovies and dorking around, like the game should be played.

God what the hell have I been doing with my nights for the past months?  I miss writing.  I think I'm going to re-write my entire... project thing.  And I'll pick up that new Silent Hill.  And I'll hang out with my peeps. 

New Years resolutions early?  Fucks yeah.

Whoa okay so I guess I haven't updated in a while.

Computer still sucks.  Shuts off a lot, so I try to do other things nowadays!

Uh.  November was nasty, between my tremendous social anxiety and Thanksgiving, fun was had for all. 
So much about that, but it's really been a while and I don't care to really mention it.

Uh I think I'll make a filtered post for the rest of everything....


But yes, I am, in fact, still alive! 

(Also Portal is a GREAT freaking game you need to get it RIGHT now)

LANI THEY MADE A SEQUEL TO POWERTHIRST

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1779769

my stomach hurts from laughing too hard :(

If you don't play WoW; feel free to skip this!

Tonight was an awesome night.  You know why?


WE KILLED LADY VASHJ!!!!  Alliance server first!!  We're now the top guild on the server since the horde guild who downed Vashj broke up and their officers transferred to Eonar!  :D

NOT ONLY DID WE ACCOMPLISH THAT EPIC EVENT

But we went to ZG to pick up our main tank's new helm enchant- GUESS WHAT DROPPED.  SWIFT RAZZASHI RAPTOR.

GUESS WHO GOT IT.

YEZ I DID.  YEZ I DID!


Oh also.  Jake won Associate of the Year tonight at a work-related banquet.  He got an iPod Nano and brought home about 6 pounds of chocolates and other massive desserts.  DELICIOUS CAKE I ALREADY ATE IT


TONIGHT WINS FOR ME HUGS FOR EVERYONE